Ask for Help
Why is it so hard for women to accept help? And it seems even harder to ask for help. We walk around stressed and overwhelmed, but for some reason, the thought of asking for the help we need makes us uncomfortable. Are we competing with one another (read more about that here). It is time to let that go and make your life easier and happier.
Every morning, I put my two year old daughter on the vanity in the bathroom (don’t worry, it’s big and she is small). I set up her toothbrush and begin to brush my hair. And everyday, my daughter says, “I help you, Mommy” and she reaches across the sink, grabs my toothbrush and gives it to me. I could get my toothbrush faster, but the smile she gives me when I say, “Thank you,” brings me such joy! She helps me and she is happy. I accept her help and I am happy. But for some reason, when I really need help, I cannot seem to ask for it, even when it is offered.
Our lives could be easier
Imagine how much easier our lives would be, if we could ask for help when we needed it, if we accepted the help that people offered. When life was so hard and all your friends knew it, if you actually said yes, when someone asked if you needed anything. In all reality, you don’t even need to know what to ask for, more often than not, people know how to help or are more than happy to figure it out. It really is just a matter of asking.
What are we proving
We want to do it all, be it all, show no weakness, but why? What are we proving when we try to take on everything? Inevitably, we miss something, drop a ball or are just are so stressed that life has lost all of its joy! When we try to do it all, we begin faking our way through life. We are frazzled and overwhelmed. Why not let someone help share the burden, let you breathe, give you time to regain control?
Learn who you are
Once you start allowing people in to help you, you can begin to take inventory on yourself. What are you good at? What do you need help with? Learning your own strengths and weakness is a real asset in life. You can actively improve upon the things that are difficult, with the assistance of others who can do these things.
When we bring people into our lives and allow them to help, it changes the relationship. We can be vulnerable and deepen our relationships. When we ask for help, accept help and give help, we develop love and trust in our relationships. We can find joy in supporting one another (read more about that here),
I often think about the life I watched my mother live and the life I want my daughter to live. Everyone believed that my mother could do anything. I watched her make dinner after a chemotherapy treatment, she was a superhero!! Then I think of all the balls that I have in the air, how managing my own life can be difficult. I know that I need to ask for help, yet still sometimes my own pride gets in the way. Is this the life I want for my daughter? No, I want her to live a life of joy, of peace. The only way she will learn to ask for and to accept help is if she sees me model it.
I am not a superhero, nor do I have to be. Being stressed out and frazzled does not make me a stronger person. I can ask for help without decreasing my value as a woman. Next time someone offers to help me, I will accept. Will you?