“Promise me you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, truly forget, how much you have always loved to swim.”
Before you lose it
Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. We spend our lives dedicated to our families. Our days are usually spent morning until night caring for others. We cook, clean, do laundry, work and put all of the people in our family before ourselves. And most days, we do this without complaint, without issue. We love our families unconditionally and happily dedicate our lives to their well being. But it happens to all of us, we start to approach the edge. Maybe it was a bad day at work, a deer jumping in front of our car or just the pressure of it all weighing us too far down. We start to crack and feel like we are going to lose it. Losing it is different for all of us. Some of us cry, some scream and some of us just get angry and lash out at anyone in our way. But next time, before you get there, remember, stop and find your joy. How will you do it? Start by remembering what is important.
We love being a mom
Being a mom brings me joy. Not the cooking or the cleaning, but laying on the floor coloring with my daughter. Racing across the living room and singing songs. Next time, before I feel like my breaking point is getting too close. I will just stop and start to play. If I have to turn off the stove, or leave the toy room a mess, it is what I will do. Nothing in the world brings me more joy that hearing my daughter laugh. So when it gets too hard, that is what I will do; laugh with my daughter.
This moment matters
The moment that you are about to lose it matters. Every moment matters. We only have the time we have. Allowing the everyday stress of life to take your joy is wasted time. Take the moment that could have been anger and turn it into a moment of joy. Start a dance party or just hug it out until all of the negativity is gone.
Stopping puts life in perspective
Once we stop and find our joy. The anger melts away and we can find perspective. Once that moment of frustration passes, we realize that often times things are not that bad. Sure, we may have too much to do and not enough money to do it all, but we have what matters, the love of our families.
In these moments
It is these moments that we can model what to do when life gets hard. We can show our children that anger doesn’t have to win. Joy can win. We can take a moment that would have been wasted by anger and frustration and turn it into an opportunity to connect with our families, share and love.
What truly matters?
If this seems simple, it’s because it is. We are usually feeling the stress and frustration from all of the outside pressures of our lives. Let them go. Focus on what really matters. Let the dishes go, order a pizza and dance. There will be time to catch up and clean the stove, and if there isn’t, would you have wanted to waste your time doing that anyway?
Next time you feel like life is going to steal your joy, stop. Remember that your life and your family is that ocean in the quote above and you really do love to swim. Take your moment back, because it is in these moments we share with our children our values, our morals and our own resiliency. It is in these moments that we live and love.