Tips to get through the holidays - mother teacher dreamer

Tips to Get Through the Holidays


Less Stress and More Joy

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Tips to get through the holidays

Halloween is over, the weather seems to be changing and the music has begun.  It is clear that the holidays are coming.  Although this is described as the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, it can be insanely stressful, especially for the teaching mother.  There are presents to buy, cookies to bake, events to attend and of course trying to find time to spend with your family.  But it doesn’t have to be a complete ball of stress.  If you follow these simple tips to get through the holidays, you will find yourself with less stress and more joy.


Start Planning Now

This may be the last thing that you want to hear, but starting now will take the stress away.  I know, I know, we haven’t finished the turkey yet, it is too soon; but taking a half an hour to plan the next six weeks could eliminate so much stress.  Make a list, set your guidelines, plan your activities and the holidays will fall into place.  


Personally, every year, the day after Halloween, I make a list of the people I will be shopping for during the holidays and I set my purchase amount.  If I know that I am only spending a certain amount, I find myself looking at gifts a little more creatively.

Shopping Can be a Fun Activity

If you don’t wait until the last minute, shopping for others can be a lot of fun.  Take some time to explore your town, check out the cute shops that you didn’t have time for before.  Consider it part of the holiday experience.  There are also amazing things on Etsy, or you can buy crafts and make some of your gifts.  When you view it as part of the holidays rather than a chore, shopping can add to the festive atmosphere.

Use the Save For Later Feature

The save for later button on Amazon has changed my life.  Whenever I have a few minutes of downtime, I browse the categories on Amazon and put gift ideas in my cart.  Then when I have a few extra dollars I buy some of it.  The rest I click ‘save for later’.  It keeps the gifts in my cart area, but allows me to only buy a few things at a time.  Sometimes I need time to re-think an item our two, sometimes I just need to wait until payday.  But either way, I don’t lose the items and if anything changes, Amazon lets me know.

Amazon Gift Cards

Seriously, these are the best gift ever.  I love getting them and everyone loves receiving them.  It is a great way to say thank you or you are special to me.  They are quick and easy to get.  If you feel like you just can’t figure out what to get someone, you can’t go wrong with an Amazon gift card.


Holiday Treats that are a Hit

It is the season for parties and cookie swaps.  Don’t let these things stress you out or steal your holiday spirit.  Select a treat to bring that you are sure will be a hit.  When you know everyone is going to love what you bring, it makes it that much better.  I personally suggest these Brownie Bombs!  The are delicious and will definitely make you the star of the party.  And again, when you are baking, make it part of the holiday festivities.  The attitude we go into things with is usually the attitude we maintain; keep it positive.

Put the Time in Where it Matters

The holiday season is truly about appreciating the love and joy you have in your life.  During the holidays don’t spread yourself so thin that you don’t have any energy left for those who deserve it.  When you create your holiday plan, don’t try to do everything, try to do the things that will matter.  Spend time with the people that you love and that bring you joy.  Remember, we can’t be everything to everyone.


Find the Joy

Remember to do what makes you happy.  If you like the way a Christmas tree looks, then put it up today.  Order a pizza and make a night of it.  If you find your colleagues are feeling a little stressed out, start an ugly sweater contest.  If you love to sing, recruit some friends and actually go caroling.  Find the things that will make you and others happy during the holidays.


Remember to be Kind

This time of year isn’t easy for everyone and some years are harder than others.  People are dealing with loss and hardships,  the holidays can hurt for some people.  Always keeps this in mind, kindness is a gift.  It is a gift you can give to everyone, everyday.


Don’t spend the holiday season stressing, remember it isn’t about gifts and money, it is about joy and love.  Make sure you are giving what really matters.


I hope these tips to get through the holidays help!

tips to get through the holidays mother teacher dreamer

There aren't enough ways to say thank you

Thank you – An Open Letter to Daycare Teachers

An Open Letter to Daycare and Preschool Teachers

There aren’t enough ways to say thank you!

Thank you – An Open Letter to Daycare and Preschool Teachers

Everyday, I wake up, frantically plow through the morning routine, drop my child off at daycare and  pray that I actually make it to work on time.  Then for eight hours, I give everything I have to my job.  Work ends, I rush home, pick up my children, make dinner, do our evening and nighttime routines, put my daughter to bed and usually collapse on the couch.  There are days that fly by for me in such a blur that I have trouble distinguishing one from the last.  But today, I need to take a moment to stop and thank the most important people of the day, the people who makes everything possible: my daughter’s daycare teachers.  

There are not enough ways to say thank you to these amazing people.  This  letter ,I am sure , will only scratch the surface of what you mean to us, but please let me publicly thank you for all that you have done and all that you do.

As a mother and a teacher, I understand very well what it means to teach and care for another person’s child.  I understand balancing multiple personalities and needs in the classroom.  Being a teacher is hard work, however, being a daycare and preschool teacher is a whole other thing.  The grace, joy and beauty you bring into my child’s life is a gift you give us everyday.  Everyday when we leave your classroom, my daughter and I say thank you, today I want you to know exactly what I am thanking you for.


Thank you – An Open Letter to Daycare and Preschool Teachers

Thank you - An Open Letter to Daycare and Preschool Teachers

Your Love

I know you love my child.  I know, because she loves you.  She talks about you at home and she tells me about what you did.  I hear her singing the songs that you taught her.  She smiles when I ask about you.  And when we talk about who we love, your name is always at the top of our list.


Your Help

I have given up trying to balance it all, there is no way I can do it.  So some things slip, sometimes things aren’t done well or aren’t done at all.  But the help you give our family makes a big difference.  Just a tiny example of the type of help I am grateful for I see everyday in my daughter’s school picture.  As a first time mom, doing a little girl’s hair can be so overwhelming, they squirm, everything hurts and their hair grows very unevenly.  It took me a very long time to be even half-way decent at doing it.  And when school picture day came around, I was not good at all.  You were the one that made her look so cute, you put her hair in perfect little ponies and everytime I look at that picture, I think of how grateful I am for you.


Encouraging me

Most days as a mom, I have no idea what I am doing.  As a middle school teacher, I have a tool kit.  I know strategies and I have skills at working with adolescents.  But raising a two year old?  This is my first time at the rodeo and often I am at a complete loss.  Your words of encouragement mean more to me than you could ever know.  When you tell me about how well my daughter did something or compliment me on my parenting, you make me feel like maybe I am not totally messing up.  When you let me know that something isn’t a big deal and I don’t have to feel guilty, I take your advise.  You mean more to me than you know.  Thank you.


Understanding and Knowing the Age

I know you know.  I trust that you know. And I am so thankful that you know.  When I see my daughter doing something or not doing something for that matter, I look to you to see if it is okay.  I can always trust that you will know if is age appropriate, something I should get checked out or be impressed by.  You know two (and three and four) far better than I do and I am so grateful.


Celebrating and Commiserating

It means so much to me to have someone who actually cares about my silly little mom stories.  You cheer my daughter on, you celebrate her successes and you support and commiserate with me when things get hard.  You honestly get excited for her and when things get tough, you worry about her.  


Being my Friend

You may not know this, but there are days that you are the only adult I get to talk to.  When I walk in the door, you always have a minute or two listen to me about my day.  You smile, you listen and you care.  Thank you.  There are days that I feel invisible and overwhelmed.  Your kindness and concern lift my spirits and always make my day better.


Teaching my Baby

Because of you, my daughter has learned so many things.  She shares, she sings, she loves to color with markers.  She tells me that she is bringing home a baby bumble-bee.

You taught her that.  When things don’t go her way, she says, “It happens.”  You taught her that.  And when she sees the letter M, she shouts, “Mommy, it’s you!”.  M is for mommy, you taught her that too.  Thank you!


Helping me to Raise my Child

If I could, I would stay home.  I would be a stay-at-home mom.  But that doesn’t work for our family.  So I go to work and my daughter goes to daycare.  During the school year, she spends nearly a third of her day at daycare, most of the hours that she is awake.  It is not an exaggeration when I say thank you for helping me raise my daughter.  You are helping me to teach her right from wrong, to share, to be kind.  You are helping to instill the values that truly matter: be a good and honest person.  


When we leave everyday and say thank you, this is what we mean.  This is why we are grateful.  

Whether you know it or not, you are a part of our family.  There truly are no words to thank you for all you have done.  But please always know, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, we will be eternally grateful.  Thank you and we love you!


Thank you – An Open Letter to Daycare and Preschool Teachers

Starting the School Year with Kindness

Starting the School Year with Kindness

Starting the School Year With Kindness

Tips and Strategies for Starting the School Year with Kindness at Home and School

What we need now, more than ever is kindness.   We must treat each other with kindness, compassion and empathy.  We say it, we know it, but often what we forget is that kindness must be taught, it must be practiced.  Telling others to be kind is a great reminder, but as mothers and as teachers, we must teach our children how to be kind, foster and encourage the skill  By starting the school year with kindness we can embed it into our lives and the lives of our children.

Routines of Kindness


Kindness starts at home, our actions are reflected to the world.  The way we treat each other at home is how our children will treat everyone they come in contact with.  If we want a kinder world, a world that treats everyone with kindness and respect, we must teach this to our children.  A way to do this is to create routines for your home that actively teach kindness.  There are many ways to do this:

  • A phrase that you greet one another with
  • A phrase that you end every phone call with
  • A prayer that included kindness before meals
  • Give a daily compliment to every family member
  • When a family member is talking, listen and make eye contact
  • Always remember manners
  • Family Kindness Tracker (Free Family Kindness Tracker download)

As teachers, we are role models for our students.  It is unfair to expect them to do anything without actively teaching it, this includes kindness.  We may not be able to change what we have to do in the classroom, but we do have the power to change how we do it.  If we teach with kindness in our hearts and establish routines of kindness, we create a safe and caring environment for our students.

  • Greet students at the door individually
  • Start class with a phrase of kindness
  • Have a personal interact with every student every day
  • Smile
  • Make eye contact with your students, ask them to do so in return
  • Always start a constructive conversation with a compliment

Kind Act of the Week


As a family, decide upon an act of kindness that you will complete each week.  This can be completed as a family or each family member can decide on their own.  Actively taking time out of your week to do something kind directed at someone reminds us how important it is work on making the world a better place.  Possible kind acts to complete each week are:

  • Volunteering at a soup kitchen, shelter, rescue agency
  • Pack up and donate unused toys and/or clothing
  • Visit or call an older/lonely family member or friend
  • Complete another family member’s daily/weekly responsibility (cook dinner, take out garbage)
  • Take the unexpected opportunity to help another person (carry someone’s groceries to the car, help the person who broke down in front of your house

As a class community explain that part of being a member of your class comes with the expectation that everyone will do their best to complete a kind act a week.  Every act of kindness will be posted, anonymously, on a post it and placed on a bulletin board in the classroom.  Kind acts will be shared, but not for individual recognition, but to acknowledge all the good being done.  Ways for students to complete an act of kindness at school:

  • Helping someone carry their books
  • Picking up something someone dropped
  • Giving someone a pen or pencil when they need it
  • Listen to a friend who is having a hard day
  • Give a compliment and expect nothing in return
  • Play, share or talk to another student that appears to not have anyone else

Kindness Project


As a family, decide upon a long-term project to involve your family in that will help to make this world a better place.  This does not have to be the biggest project in the world.  Often times, we take on too much and never finish it.  Start small, a project is anything you need to do more than once to complete.  Once you and your family get the hang of it, add more time and depth to your projects.  Here are some ideas to get your family started:

  • Train for and complete a fun run for a cause
  • Participate in any type of a-thon (dance-a-thon, read-a-thon) for a non-profit organization
  • Help raise money for an organization
  • Become a volunteer at a nursing home
  • Grow something at a community garden
  • Become a board member for a volunteer organization
  • Foster a rescue animal

A class kindness project is a great way to bring a class together and have them work on something with real world applications.  As a group, the class can decide on a project, work together on it and see how their work has helped to make the world a better place.  Spending time, returning to a project and seeing your work make difference is lesson that will stay with our students forever.  Some possible ideas to get your students thinking are:

  • Identifying a local issue and make steps to improve it
  • Design and paint a school mural
  • Create a school club dedicated to kindness
  • Write a group children’s book about kindness
  • Identify a local non-profit organization and create a relationship with them

Ground Rules


Everyone gets frustrated, everyone gets angry, but by setting home ground rules before these things happen is a way to keep kindness always present at home.  Some kindness home ground rules are:

  • No name calling
  • Listen first and respond
  • Make eye contact when talking
  • Stop and try to think about how the other person feels
  • Acknowledge other people’s feelings

Every class needs ground rules.  These rules depend on a teacher’s style, but if we make sure our rules are rooted in kindness, we can create a place where everyone feels respected and cared for.  Some possible rules are:

  • Make eye contact with others when talking
  • Listen and let others finish talking, try not to interrupt
  • Respond to what other say, rather than just saying what we want
  • Include new people in our groups, don’t let anyone feel left out
  • Be open to new ideas, new experiences and new people

Dedicate Time for Sharing


When school starts it is so easy to get caught up in the hectic routine that is created, that we forget to talk to one another.  Taking time out of the day or week to share what we done and how we feel is necessary.  By sharing we can empathize with one another, an important skill to practice and we will also have our own feelings and our family members’ feelings validated.  Ways to share are:

  • Sharing during dinner
  • A Caring about Sharing jar – Write a note about something you want share, drop it in the jar and once a week share all the notes in the jar.  (Free Caring about Sharing jar labels download)
  • Have a weekly family meeting
  • Have a family signal for when someone needs a person to stop and listen to how they feel

When deadline approach and assignments need to be finished, one of the first things that teachers do is begin to move a little faster, cut out unnecessary things.  But remember, listening to students, letting their voices be heard, discussing how they feel and what kind things they have done is important.  Here are some ways to build in sharing time in your class.

  • Schedule time weekly for open sharing about kindness
  • Spend time talking and sharing during passing or transition times
  • Create a weekly warm-up activity that includes sharing thoughts of kindness
  • Meet with groups of students and share about your life, listen to stories about theirs
  • Ask students questions and honestly listen to their responses
  • Share details about yourself and allow questions


We must teach kindness and empathy at home and school if we expect our children to act through kindness and empathize with others.  If you want the world to be a better place, you must actively try to make it better, just talking about it doesn’t change it, you must do something.  We have all heard the phrase from Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  If you wish to see a kinder world, be kind and teach kindness.  By starting the school year with kindness at home and school, you will embed it not only your life, but in your children as well.

Don’t forget to download your freebies!!  They are a great way to help with starting the school year with kindness.

Family Kindness Tracker

To use the Family Kindness Tracker, hang in a very visible place in the house.  Write every family members name down  on the top of the tracker.  Every family member gets a check for every day of the week that they are kind, have good manners and follow directions.  Checks can also be earned by completing random acts of kindness, showing kindness to your family or any other way the family decides.  Check are added up at the end of the week.  The higher the family total the more kindness the family has shown.  Use it to challenge your family and yourself.

Caring about Sharing jar labels

Attach Caring about Sharing labels to a mason jar.  Every time anyone has something that they would like to share, but no one is around or everyone is busy, write a note and drop it in the jar.  Schedule a time once a week to read and talk about every note.

We all need more kindness in our lives.  If you have any other ideas we can add to the list of Starting the School Year with Kindness, please share your ideas in the comments below.


If you like Starting the School Year with Kindness, consider reading, A Dream of Kindness.

Starting the School Year with Kindness


10 Mother’s Day Gifts for the Teaching Mom (or a Mother’s Day Gift to Buy Yourself and Say it was From the Kids!!)

10 Mother’s Day Gifts for the teaching mom (or a Mother’s day gift to Buy Yourself and Say it was from the Kids!!)

*** This post contains affiliate links***

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

10 Mother’s Day Gifts

When mom teaches, she puts everything she has into her classroom and her home.  And on Mother’s Day, she deserves a great Mother’s Day gift.  Here are 10 great ideas for Mother’s Day Gifts for the teaching mom.  Prices from low to high, any of these gifts would be a great choice to show mom how important she is!

For Back and forth…
  1. Big Travel Coffee CupContigo AUTOSEAL West Loop Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Travel Mug with Easy-Clean Lid, 16oz, Black

After a night of little sleep, no one needs a hot coffee like a mom.  But once a mom get to school, answers emails, sets up the lesson, makes copies  and says good morning to her students, her coffee is cold.  A new travel coffee cup is just what every mother teacher needs and makes a great Mother’s Day gift.

2.  Work Bag  Pursetti Teacher Bag with Pockets – Perfect Gift for Teacher’s Appreciation and Christmas (Paisley)

Papers to grade, lessons to create, copies to make; a teacher’s work is never done.  But giving the teaching mom a big bag to carry everything will at least make the work easier.  A big bag with a fun design is a great Mother’s Day gift this year.

 3.  Lunch Bag  Fit & Fresh Women’s Downtown Insulated Lunch Bag with Zipper Closure and Exterior Pocket, Stylish Adult Lunch Box for Work, Ebony Floral

Schools are not offices.  Teachers pack lunches because there is no time to go out to eat.  When a teacher finally has three minutes to eat her lunch, they want it to be good.  With an insulated lunch bag, a teacher’s lunch can be kept safe, cool and delicious.


A few Tech Ideas …

4.  Kindle Fire  Fire Tablet with Alexa, 7″ Display, 8 GB, Black – with Special Offers

A Kindle Fire is an awesome, light weight tablet that a teaching mother can bring everywhere.  It can be used for reading, researching, social media or watching videos.  There are apps available for moms and kids.  Everyone loves a fun new piece of technology, even mom, consider getting her a Kindle Fire for a Mother’s Day.

5.  Amazon Echo Amazon Echo – Black

Oh, Alexa.  What is better than giving mom a personal assistant?  The Amazon Echo has Alexa built right in and she is what a mom needs today.  Alexa can add items to a shopping list, play music from any genre or read a book aloud.  The Amazon Echo is constantly learning new skills that will help make mom’s life easier.  What a great Mother’s Day gift!

6.  Smart Watch Exercise Tracker Samsung Gear Fit2- Pink, Small

Most mom’s wish they could find more time to work out, but teachers often do not realize how much they already do.  With a Samsung Gear Fit2, moms can track they steps, set up work out schedules, check heart rate and view and respond to text messages.  An easy to learn and comfortable Smart Watch that is an amazing Mother’s Day gift.

Other ideas …

7.  Great Pens Pilot G2 Retractable Premium Gel Ink Roller Ball Pens, Fine Point, 10-Pack, Assorted Color Inks (31236)

Teachers love pens.  Even teachers that use lots of technology still need pens.  Colorful gel pens are great for teaching.  Being the teacher that attacks a paper with a red pen is not who anyone wants to be,  but having an assortment of colors to pick from is great.


8.  Cool Kitchen Stuff  Kitchen Art Professional Select-A-Spice Auto-Measure Carousel, Satin

When mom uses cooking as a way to relax after a long day at school, nothing is better than some cool kitchen gadgets.  A spinning spice rack with a measuring feature is a pretty cook gadget. Mom would love a cool, new toy for the kitchen.

9.  Gourmet Food California Delicious Gourmet Foods Gift Box

There are times when a mom would love to get away, go on a fancy vacation.  Often times, it just can’t be done right now.  School, family and finances can make travel difficult, but a gourmet box can give the taste of a vacation at home.  Fun treats from somewhere else can help take mom away this Mother’s Day.

10.  Amazon Gift Cards Gift Card for Any Amount in a Dot Box (Classic White Card Design)

Sometimes the only one who really knows what mom wants is mom.  Let her treat herself to something nice on you.  Get her an Amazon gift card and let her get exactly what she wants.

Whatever you get mom for Mother’s Day this year, whether it is an expensive gift or a homemade card.  The most important thing is to let mom know that you love her and you appreciate all that she does.  Happy Mother’s Day!


Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

Becoming a Mother made me a better teacher

Becoming A Mother Made Me A Better Teacher

Teaching as a Mother

Teaching as a mother is quite different than I expected.  I knew that I loved my students, their success is my success.  But I wrongly assumed that once I became a mother my attention would shift.  I thought that I wouldn’t have the same passion for my students, wouldn’t have the ability to put them first anymore.  Before my daughter was born, I thought becoming a mother would take away from the teacher I was.  And I was wrong, teaching as a mother has made me a better teacher.  

Your Children Are Our Children

Have you ever listened to a teacher talk?  There are times that you cannot tell the difference between their students and their children.  I was once at a wedding, bragging about the wonderful triplets that I was teaching, when someone told me I looked good for having had triplets.  I laughed and said there were my students, not my own children.  But that is the pride we take in our students.  Your children are our children.

Teaching as a Mother

We Give What We Expect

As a mother, I know that every child in my room is loved with the depth and passion of a mother.  The trust that I have put into the people that care for my daughter has been put into me.  I take that trust very seriously.  Every child I work with is an extension of my own child.  I work as hard as I can for them knowing that someone else is doing the same for my child.   

Hope and Love

At the center of everything we do is hope and love.  We teach because we truly care for and want to see children succeed.  We wouldn’t deal with the educational bureaucracy unless we truly loved teaching children.  As teachers, we cared about educated children before we even had them.  Teaching as a mother has only intensified this feeling.  It is not a job you would leave your own children for if you didn’t feel that way.

We Understand Both Sides

As a mother I want the best for my child, but I also realize that sometimes a child can make it very difficult to do that.  Becoming a mother helped me see a child instead of just a student.  When a child is just too frustrated to work and they begin to take act out in class, I see a child in crisis rather than a disruptive student.  I can approach the situation as a mother there to support a child, rather than a teacher trying to discipline a student.

Teaching as a Mother

Who Comes First?

Of course my child comes first.  What parent wouldn’t say that?  In the grand scheme of things, who else will put my child first if I don’t. But when someone else’s child is in front of me, at that moment they come first.  I stop every aspect of my life for them.  The purpose of my career is other people’s children’s success.  Teaching as a mother, I want to help them, educate them and care for them.

Becoming a mother has changed my life in the most amazing ways.  I have a source of joy everyday of my life.  I have the profound privilege of raising the most amazing little girl.  But the unexpected change that came from becoming a mother was how much more love and compassion has come to my classroom.  Teaching as a mother has made me a better teacher.  

(Other thoughts on Teaching and Parenting here)


How Her Success Can Be My Success

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“I prefer to work with men”, “Men are easier to be friends with, less drama’ or even worse, “I would rather have a male boss’.  Women have been avoiding, or even worse, sabotaging each for years.  Although we all have female friends and relatives, there is some type of societal norm that has been created to force us to compare ourselves to each other and create this unspoken sense of competition.  It is time we stop comparing ourselves to one another (read more about that here) and begin to support and promote other women.  We need to realize that her success is not our failure.


Far too many times something wonderful happens to a woman we know.  Maybe she gets a promotion, gets engaged, finds out that she is pregnant, or has some other personal or professional success.  We greet the news with the proper and expected enthusiasm; but when we privately think about whatever the wonderful accomplishment was, we compare the news to our own lives.  We compare their accomplishments to our own, we begin to measure our success against theirs.  It often becomes difficult to be happy for another woman when we feel her success may outweigh our own.

Alone in Success

Life is not a game.  We are not here to win or lose, we are all traveling down our own paths.  These paths are different, and often contain many obstacles.  We love and we lose.  Life is hard, but beautiful.  Why stand in someone’s way or withhold the support they so desperately need?  Others may meet with success, but they are on a path different than our own.  If we support one another rather than competing, we can make each other’s paths smoother.  And it is always important to remember the old adage, what goes around comes around.


When we participate in this woman versus woman competition, we sabotage each other.  This sabotage may be obvious, like refusing to help, or more private, like hoping for failure.  We may believe that our thoughts have no real impact on the outcome, but this mentality is destructive.  The thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way.  We may have a small network of support, but what if we expanded that circle? What if we knew the support we needed could come from any of the women we know?  This encouragement could be all we need to succeed.  


Imagine if we supported one another, celebrated our successes and truly wished the best for all the women in our lives.  Imagine if we checked our jealousy at the door, stopped comparing ourselves to the women around us and became a cheerleader for other women.  We all need this, but to have a cheerleader, we must become a one.  What does this mean?  We must honestly support other women.  Take an interest in someone else without any other agenda.  Encourage them, support them and celebrate them.  This support will turn into relationships we could count on and trust.  We can build each other up and take pride in our accomplishments.  When we do this we will all win.

How Her Success Can Be My Success

How Her Success Can Be My Success


We MUST realize that her success IS our success.  We are powerful, but we allow ourselves to be divided, we compete and withhold support.  As women, we must change our mindset, look to other women as support, not as competition.  If we band together and grow in strength, we will be unstoppable.

Becoming a Mother

Becoming A Mother …

BEcoming A Mother …

My whole life,  I idolized my mother.   She was my world,  my best friend my staunchest supporter.  I dreamed of the day that I would be a mother; be like her. She would watch me,  advise me,  be proud of the daughter, the now mother she raised.  I dreamed of becoming a mother just like my own mother.

However, life rarely works out the way we plan.  It surely did not work out the way I planned it would.   My career fell neatly into place.  I had a cute little apartment and was able to live on my own.  I met a wonderful man, a  man I began to plan a  future.  Everything seemed to be working out perfectly.


Everything Changed

Then the unthinkable happened, my rock, my mother became sick and died.  My world went into a tailspin.  I rebuilt, I was never the same, but I continued on.  Now clinging to the idea of motherhood even tighter.   Becoming a mother, would bring back what I lost.

We married, he wanted a baby right away, I was practical and said we had time to wait.  I thought we would wait until we’re settled, have a house,  have money.  They came and with them  the burden and anxiety of the middle class suburban life.  Now that I was ready,  he needed more time. Like every marriage, we hit bumps, but after digging deep, working hard and fighting through it.  We figured out our marriage, our way and decided finally together,  now is the time.  It was time to have a baby, but again,  this is not how our lives worked out.

We tried.  The early months were let downs,  the later months were heartbreak,  the first year was devastating.  After two years,  I began to plan the future I didn’t want.  The future without children.   We could make it work;  we could be the couple who travels,  who keeps moving,  who lives for one another.  Once I began to accept my new life,  my unplanned life,  it changed again. I became a mother.

My daughter did not become a way to remember my mother or a re-connection.  I thought she would help fill the missing part of me.  Becoming a mother was so much more than that.   She gave me purpose.  She turned me into the person I was meant to be.  The birth of my daughter did not bring back the relationship I lost,  she became my meaning for life.


Becoming A Mother

A mother is the most important definition of who I am.  I am many things: a wife, a sister, a teacher, a friend but the fire that drives my soul is motherhood.  Becoming a mother made me the person I was meant to be.


If you liked this, consider reading I Will – A Mother’s Love is Eternal.


Becoming A Mother